redzils: (Default)
Honestly, if you do not put ONE TABLE with means, standard deviations, and intercorrelations in ANY quantitative paper you deign to publish, I think the American Psychological Association ought to a) withdraw your membership OR b) (preferred) assign a hitman. Aargh.
This part - comparing my data to other people's, collected using the same instruments - should be easy. Instead its making me want to thump people (authors, reviewers, and JOURNAL EDITORS) with an umbrella. A hard, black, pointy umbrella.
redzils: (Default)
I am starting to wonder if taking the Ph.D. qualifying exams this spring is a wise choice. I have tried to talk it through with a couple of people, since I am interested in other perspectives, but it is hard for my audience to keep straight when presented verbally.

redzils: (Default)
Be warned: this is tirade-ish.

I have this naive little illusion that life should be fair.  It isn't.  I know it isn't. I know it wont be.  And I am working on my outrage over that.  In approximately 17 million years, it may even stop pissing me off.

In between now and the next geologic age, I am getting awfully tired of being less important than everyone I meet in my professional life. I mean, I know they invented research, pioneered teaching, and developed the idea of the university system, but why does that make it okay for them to speak rudely, miss obligations, behave in ways they would never tolerate from others, and deal with other people the way I deal with cat yak?

I dont need to be more important than anybody, but I am tired of being so much less valuable a human being than everyone I meet.  This has only gotten worse since I am assigned to sit in the office and cater to the needs of others. Today another graduate student came in needing copies made.  She wanted them in less than an hour and couldn't just ask me to deal with it right away, as a favor to her. Instead she hinted around and acted shocked and amazed that her one hour timeline was not congruent with the policies and procedures of the department. I wasn't going to be too much of a stickler, but it would have been nice of her to say something along the lines of, "gee, you are right - 1 hour is less than 24 hours" or "Thank you for making an exception to help me."  Instead she was rude and managed to imply that nothing I was doing could possibly be as important as making her copies.

That makes me cross.

Even if I ever get to be Very Important in the professional sense (my roommate made the point that I am already important to her, in an effort to derail this rant), I hope I remember this.  After all, aggravating the administrative and maintenence staff is a poor use of energy, as well as a dangerous habit.
redzils: (Default)
It is Thursday night.  I have spent two pretty much full days staring at the shiny box, working on my thesis.

I finished polishing the methods section and wrote up the results.  I figured out the two holes in the literature review (organizational justice and leader prototypicality).  I have a to-do list: "write org. justice section / rewrite prototypicality section / incorporate new articles / draft discussion / draft conclusions / fix up citations").  I have made myself a table of contents and polished up the tables, figures, and appendices. 

What I need to do is start reading and type.  This synthesis is the hardest piece for me - I can do it, but struggle to aim myself in the right direction.  What I need to remember is that the written (typed) word is powerful.  If I just start putting words on the page - snippets from articles, sources to cite, bits of connection, soon I will have a draft.  And once I have a draft, I can revise.  Revising is fun and shiny, its just getting the words down in the first place that hurts.  I need to remember Anne Lamott's advice and embrace my shitty first drafts and silence station KFKD (K-fucked) as it loops endlessly in my brain.

I really want to start messing with citations, since that means I am done. I am good at that kind of cross-referencing detail work, but it doesn't make sense to do that until all the words are on the page.  So, I need to write.  I want to knock at least the justice section and either the new articles or prototypicality off the list before I go to bed tonight.... That leaves me one hard piece and the discussion and conclusion sections for tomorrow (oh, and the citations, but citations are fun).  It's manageable, if I do it.  So, time to focus.


Spending this time thinking about school has also brought to my attention that I still dont know what I am doing 20 hours a week next semester, for my assistantship.  I am beginning to wonder if they pulled my funding and forgot to tell me.  On one hand, that would be disastrous - I would have to come up with enough money to live on while I defended the thesis, swing into the job search, and move, all with very limited resources.  But, I would also be free.  And tonight, free sounds good.... (Fortunately my landlord is unlikely to throw me into the street and my visa has a high credit limit, so I can speculate without too much fear.....).


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November 2010

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