(Triple points to anyone who gets the title reference).
At JD's bellydance practice on Sunday, she suggested that we start wearing our dance performance costumes to class. On one hand, yeah, that sounds sensible: we need to know how the floofy skirts affect our movement and should be getting comfortable wearing them around. On the other, OHMIGOD, I will be out in PUBLIC. WITH MY BELLY SHOWING. I tried not to spend any time or energy worrying about it, but the idea of putting my flubbery belly out for the world to see made me anxious. I mean, I performed once last summer in Homer at their baby Renn Faire, but I don't know a soul there. Here I know people, and they know me.
Last night, while I was on the phone with H, I assembled the outfit.
Tonight at dance, I snuck into a back room to get dressed, and came out in my harem pants, skirt, hip scarf, and choli top. I wore a coin belt over the hipscarf, but no other jewelry. I was feeling a tad underdressed, but, bless her heart,* Jen (my teacher and TribalCon co-conspirator) *whistled* at me. The feedback was good - people seemed to like the coin belt and they were all really positive. I didn't want to die of embaressment. And by the end of the night I was pretty much okay with the fact that I was showing some skin (despite being one of two double-digit sized people in the room).
I still doubt I will invite the world to watch me dance, but I am spreading the word about my Virginia performance debut when it comes up (I told someone at the dog park today, for example). I remain a little bit nervous about my "solo duet" at the beginning, but only because Jane and I are supposed to be mirroring one another, and we haven't really started working on that piece. I have faith though - it is going to come together beautifully, as the rest of this choreography already has.
In sum, I had been saying all week that I just needed to get over myself, and I am proud that I am managing it.
* In your colloquial Southern-Bitch dialect "Bless her Heart" means, "let's trash her." I do NOT mean it this way - I mean, may all the bounty of planet Earth be laid at her feet by Whoever Is In Charge. She is just that cool.